Wimpy Bar Blues 1.
Some people visit Brighton
Others fly to Spain
But why do people go so far
When Muriel
In Newport’s Wimpy Bar
Has a welcome ALL acclaim?
Wimpy Bar Blues 2.
Where-ever I went a ‘ Wimpying,
At homeland or afar,
The fame of lovely Muriel
Had passed on long before.
At last I found old Newport
One wet and windy night,
But where was lovely Muriel?
Her absence was my plight.
I asked the ample waitress
Who answered loud and clear,
“Oh yes, the famous Muriel
You won’t find her working here!”
“But I am in Newport,” I spluttered
“Surely I read the name right?”
“You are in Newport, my darling –
NEWPORT, Isle of Wight!”
In the following conversation between customers you might remember some of the items on the menu.
Wimpy Bar Blues 3.
X: Some people go to Brighton
Others fly to Spain.
Y: On no, don’t tell me, let me guess
Muriel’s off again.
X: You’ve heard me speak of Muriel
And now she’s gone away.
Y: To holiday on the Isle of Wight?
X: Much further,
Y: Well I say!
X: For months she was quite happy
But excitement, was what she yearned.
Late yesterday she was kidnapped
And all her Wimpy’s burned.
Her Cornish Maidens melted
And her Deltas turned quite pale.
Her famous powdered oxtail soup
Had a froth to rival ale.
Me: Fear not High Street Wimpy
For Muriel will be saved.
I have my passport ready
And all my plans are made.
X: I have it on good authority
That eastwards you must go,
Muriel’s detained in Italy…
Me: By whom?
X: You do not know?
She’s busy making Longboats
For the Mafioso.
Me: No!
I gave these poems to Muriel and she told me Head Office loved them and she had copies framed. Those were good days.