Wimpy Bar Blues 1.

Some people visit Brighton

Others fly to Spain

But why do people go so far

When Muriel

In Newport’s Wimpy Bar

Has a welcome ALL acclaim?

Wimpy Bar Blues 2.

Where-ever I went a ‘ Wimpying,

At homeland or afar,

The fame of lovely Muriel

Had passed on long before.

At last I found old Newport

One wet and windy night,

But where was lovely Muriel?

Her absence was my plight.

I asked the ample waitress

Who answered loud and clear,

“Oh yes, the famous Muriel

You won’t find her working here!”

“But I am in Newport,” I spluttered

“Surely I read the name right?”

“You are in Newport, my darling –

NEWPORT, Isle of Wight!”

In the following conversation between customers you might remember some of the items on the menu.

Wimpy Bar Blues 3.

X: Some people go to Brighton

Others fly to Spain.

Y: On no, don’t tell me, let me guess

Muriel’s off again.

X: You’ve heard me speak of Muriel

And now she’s gone away.

Y: To holiday on the Isle of Wight?

X: Much further,

Y: Well I say!

X: For months she was quite happy

But excitement, was what she yearned.

Late yesterday she was kidnapped

And all her Wimpy’s burned.

Her Cornish Maidens melted

And her Deltas turned quite pale.

Her famous powdered oxtail soup

Had a froth to rival ale.

Me: Fear not High Street Wimpy

For Muriel will be saved.

I have my passport ready

And all my plans are made.

X: I have it on good authority

That eastwards you must go,

Muriel’s detained in Italy…

Me: By whom?

X: You do not know?

She’s busy making Longboats

For the Mafioso.

Me: No!

I gave these poems to Muriel and she told me Head Office loved them and she had copies framed. Those were good days.